We provide this technique as part of the follow up materials for the Bond with Baby workshop but it is so simple and effective that I am going to share it with you here.
A bit back to front and it will be of much more use to you when you understand more about the true messages of your emotions, but I’m hoping it will pique your interest to take a look at attending a Bond with Baby workshop.
The idea with the ‘Flip a Coin’ technique is that any ‘difficult’ feelings that you may be experiencing in a particular moment sit on one side of the coin and your ability to move towards a more positive place is on the other side of the coin.
I call the place you are aiming for ‘your neutral place’.
What I mean by this is that feeling you have when you are simply moving through your day, dealing with stuff as it occurs. Being in the moment. It is important that you are not aiming to jump to some extreme state of happiness from this exercise. Just a nice neutral state of being from which you can enjoy the highs and cope with the lows.
- First of all you will want to gauge how ‘bad’ the feelings are. Imagine this on a scale with -10 being the worst that you can feel and zero being neutral. Obviously then anything on the plus side is ‘good’ but this exercise is only about getting you to neutral.
- Once you have ascertained what your starting point is you imagine the coin on the side of the ‘difficult’ feelings. Do this with your eyes open and ‘really’ experience all of those uncomfortable feelings. Then as you flip the coin over close your eyes and IMAGINE the BEST you can feel in that moment. Don’t force it, perhaps just notice how your body feels on the chair, the sounds around you. In the case of fear, notice that you are safe in your environment.
- Then as you open you eyes flip the coin back over again and notice that you feel different – it may be slight but you DO feel differently. Notice what number you are now on. You may have moved from -10 to -9 or even to -9.5. However slight notice that there has been a shift.
- Then once again, feel whatever negativity there is – how you feel right now. Then as you close your eyes flip the coin back over and once again IMAGINE the BEST you can feel in that moment.
- Then as you open your eyes flip the coin back over and once again notice that you feel different – perhaps noticing a bit more of a difference this time. Note where you are on the scale.
- Then once again feel whatever negativity there is. Then as you close your eyes flip the coin back over and once again IMAGINE the BEST you can feel in that moment.
- Then as you open your eyes flip the coin back over and once again notice that you feel different – by now you will becoming quite amazed at how effective this technique is. Note where you are on the scale.
- Simply carry on flipping the coin from one side to the next until you have completely watered down the difficult feelings and are in your neutral place. When you are in your neutral place the coin will feel the same on both sides.
I had some of my old feelings turn up today. I don’t know why…well actually if I’m honest I do. Life is pretty good at the moment and my old fear of “bad news always comes as a shock doesn’t it?” resurfaced.
However, I knew exactly how to deal with it. I asked myself “What danger am I in?”
The resulting answer “I am not in danger” gave me the space to start letting go of the fear and then I did the ‘flip a coin’ technique to return back to my neutral place.
As I said I said in my last post we cannot make sure that everything is perfect when we are pregnant or for that matter after our babies have been born but we can teach them about the true messages of their emotions.
If you’d like to learn more about this amazing subject check out our Bond with Baby workshop.