Here at The Wise Hippo we would have expected to see Harry Kane say that he was proud of his fiancée’s birth experience, no matter how Katie birthed their baby.
The problem with traditional hypnobirthing is that it focuses on helping women have a natural birth without drugs.
This is great when it works out, but really hard on the women who spend the hours they were told to practice and prepare, who then need pain relief and possibly intervention.
When I first started teaching hypnobirthing back in 2005, I became an admin on a hypnobirth board on the Baby Centre Forum. It saddened me just how many women were saying that they had FAILED.
Not only were they having difficult birth experiences, they were then adding to their pain by feeling that they had somehow done something wrong, and had let themselves and their baby down.
I was not seeing this with my own clients, and as much as I would have liked them all to have had a pain free natural birth of course they weren’t. The realist in me knew that this wasn’t possible. Life throws out shitty curve balls sometimes, and no amount of practise and preparation can avoid that.
My clients were NOT saying that they had failed. Instead they shared that despite things not going as they hoped, they felt that what they’d learnt during their hypnobirthing classes with me, had ensured that they felt calm, relaxed and in control to make decisions that were right for them.
They still felt POSITIVE about their birth experience.
I realised that I was teaching in a different way and the concept of having ‘THE RIGHT BIRTH ON THE DAY’ was born.
This is now how all of our Wise Hippo Instructors teach their clients.
Yes, what we teach helps women have a better birth experience and our stats prove that less women use pain relief drugs. Not because they are birth warriors and martyrs to the pain though, but because they didn’t need them.
Those that do use the drugs though don’t feel that they have failed, because it was the right choice for them, and they feel as equally confident about any decisions they might have made to have intervention.
So, we would have been as EQUALLY PROUD OF KATIE and the support Harry would have no doubt given her, if she’d wanted pain relief or had required assistance.
They would have both made sure that they had ‘the right birth on the day’.
This is what is important for women and their partners to focus on with regards to their birth preparation.
By doing this they may feel disappointed if they don’t get the dreamed for ‘perfect’ birth, but they don’t feel traumatised by the fact that they didn’t get it either.
Here at The Wise Hippo we are working hard to change the face of hypnobirthing.
We want all women to look back on their birth, no matter how it went, and to recognise how AWESOME they have been.